Need time to figure sth out

Things get pretty complicated and exhaust me. Will they all go back to original after tons of efforts?

January has been like a month of riding a roller coaster, full of fun and stimulation, nervous and fear, excitng and annoyed.

Maybe it is time to end up everything, and back to be the original spot.

Am I willing to let everything happened like that?

I have no choices and I know I am going to hurt someone.

Sorry, I am a selfish and rebellious girl. I don't like to be controlled by others, either to follow the path you pave for me. I have my own life, and I can make my own choice for myself. No matter what the result is, I am responsible for everything. I will take all.

At front of marriage, I can't say I love your money more than you. That is not how love is supposed to be and that is not how I am.

Sigh...oh, my life...
I make it way too complicated...